The GG’s Valentine’s playlist for the terminally single.
There’s no other time of year where you’re reminded so frequently that you’re going to die alone and be eaten by your cats before anyone finds your body. Valentine’s day as a single person sucks. Whether you’re newly single, and constantly being reminded of how cute this day was last year, or a terminally single person, going through another year of having to buy your own chocolate, Valentine’s day isn’t fun. So to help you get through the day, The GG have put together the ultimate “single on valentines day” playlist, to remind you that the single life isn’t that bad after all:
Single – Natasha Bedingfield
The 00s power ballad queen herself has a song that’s so aggressively positive about being single, it almost makes you wonder what feelings she’s compensating for. That being said, it’s very hard to listen to this song and wish you weren’t single. Imagine being in a relationship right now – the money you would be spending tonight and the effort you would have to put into getting ready and primping for the big day. Instead, you get to stay in bed with a bowl of popcorn and a Netflix account for which you’ve not had to share the password. Natasha might just be right when she says “I’m right where I wanna be”.
Good As Hell – Lizzo
A bop for the people that are braving the themed club nights and have decided to spend the night out on the town. Going out on Valentine’s is pretty much a recipe for disaster – but the debrief the next morning with your pals always makes it worth it. So whack on some Lizzo, recognise your worth, and then go and lose any dignity you have left in Firewater.
Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want – The Smiths
Because let’s be realistic, if you’ve sought out this playlist to help you get through the day, it’s unlikely you’re going to survive the next 24 hours without feeling a bit shit at some point. So for the full one minute and 52 seconds of this song, you can be in your feelings as much as you need to be. It’s shite, you’re lonely, and you can’t afford to buy yourself the giant fluffy penguin they’re selling in the Byers Road Tesco Metro. I know. Now gather your senses, and crack on with the rest of your day.
Soulmate – Lizzo
As the queen of self-love, Lizzo is really all you need for Valentines Day, and this song just sums it up. As RuPaul always reminds us, self-love is key, and the terminally single among us will recognise there’s a huge amount of value in being happy in yourself and able to spend time alone. We all look down on the pal who jumps from relationship to relationship, and this song reminds you that having time out of a relationship to get to know and love yourself can actually be pretty fun.
thank u, next – Ariana Grande
Now one for the newly single. A basic bitch choice, but the whole day is a basic bitch “holiday” so whack on the joy that is the thank u, next music video and revel in the rom-com references – you might get some inspo for what to watch tonight. Remember that your ex is in your past, and you’re moving forward with your future – every time someone fucked you over it contributed to making you who you are today, in Japan they fix broken bowls with gold, yadda yadda. The take-away is that you’re better off without them, and all sorts of fun is in your future (especially if you’re heading out tonight).
It’s My Life – Bon Jovi
One of the best (one of the only good) things about being single is you can make whatever decisions you need to on your own. You don’t have to account for someone else, their preferences, whether they would rather go to a museum than the cinema, whether your favourite takeaway is too spicy for them, whether they’ll be mad if you watch the next episode of Narcos without them. When you’re single you do what you want, when you want – so turn up Bon Jovi and celebrate your freedom.
No Scrubs – TLC
Because being single means you can be picky (and because you’re probably single because you are picky). TLC will remind you you did the right thing by not jumping into a relationship with that strange person you went on a few tinder dates with just because it was cuffing season. Soon it will be summer and you’ll be more glad of being single than ever, as you jet off to Spain with your pals to disgrace the name of Britons abroad. You’re not single because no one wants you – you’re single because your standards are (too) high.
Too Much Love Will Kill You – Queen
Let Freddie remind you what an absolute headache it is to be in a relationship. Of all the couples celebrating Valentine’s today, a good lot of them will be disappointed, will have a roaring argument, will long to be out with their single pals instead of spending money they don’t have on subpar steak. Let yourself feel smug – this is the energy (some would call it delusion) we need to get through the day.
Friday I’m In Love – The Cure
Whether you’re staying in and watching Swayze teaching at the Catskills resort, or out on the pull in town, there will definitely be love in your life this Friday. You don’t need a relationship to have the time of your life and being loved by a partner is not the only important love you will get. So even if you have spent the day feeling miserable, remember the old bitter singleton adage that “valentine’s was just invented to sell cards”, and crack on with your brilliant, free, horribly single life. And just think – tomorrow all the chocolate will be discounted.