What is a Performative Man and What Kind of Books are they “reading”?
Archetypes and aesthetics tend to take the internet by storm, so it’s no surprise that the newest, the “performative man”, is currently trending. Traits such as: drinking matcha, dressing chic, and holding feminist literature, all conveniently in public places, are the basis of this archetype. Its one goal? Attracting women.
As the name suggests, these men do not actually find joy in the aesthetic, but are merely “performing” to seem positively different than other guys. But the root of this public persona is much deeper. These hobbies are not constricted to a specific gender, however. In a society where masculine activities usually target women and their beliefs, these men seem to be completely different. The softer aesthetic of a “performative man” aims to juxtapose the image set by figures such as Andrew Tate, who influence men to objectify women. A good example of this stark change is the view of emotion. Men who follow Andrew Tate’s “alpha male mantra” believe that showing emotions and being vulnerable undermines their strength and attractiveness, whereas “performative men” embrace their feelings and use public appearances to display that change.
It seems this switch in trending aesthetics comes from a place of dissatisfaction from women. These “alpha males” became strongly associated with toxic masculinity, which is a version of masculinity that is harmful to society due to misogyny, violence, and a lack of empathy.
Many women on social media platforms have shown a dislike for these types of men, perhaps indicating that men should act differently if they want women to be attracted to them. Yet, it appears that men have taken this hint at surface level. They’re not changing their behaviour entirely, just putting up a façade when women are around.
For example, reading in public. Literature, like all media, is influential to one’s personality. The books we read shape who we are and also serve as an indicator to the public about our perspectives. “Performative men” utilize this aspect of culture and carry books that are known for their mature themes. The “performative man” will opt for titles that women recognise as their favorites or books that are famous for their insightfulness. Usually, they carry multiple books in a tote bag. They may even be seen reading all of them at the same time (they are just that smart).
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath is a must-have for a “performative man”. Written in 1963 by one of America’s greatest female poets, the novel follows Esther Greenwood, a 19-year-old writer for a women’s magazine. She is extremely intelligent, receives awards for her academics, but still suffers from mental illness, which emerges from the troubles she faces as a young woman. The bell jar in the title is a metaphor for how trapped Esther feels due to societal pressure. The main issue Esther faces is described through a metaphor about a fig tree. Bonus points should be awarded to performative men who can analyse the fig tree quote, which reads: “I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig-tree in the story.” Esther describes how opportunities in her life present themselves, though she cannot decide which path to take, because following one means losing the other. Plath writes in gut-wrenching poetic verse describing the hardships of the life of a woman. Men who pretend to read this appear to be mocking the well-respected novel, though if they actually comprehended the messages, the world may be better for it.
The next tote-bag title would be Atomic Habits, a self-help book written by James Clear in 2018. What’s more attractive than a man working on himself? Besides a man who genuinely seeks self-improvement rather than a date… The book describes ways to break bad habits and build better ones in four simple steps: cue, craving, response, and reward. The cue implies making a new habit obvious and prominent in one’s lifestyle. The craving part suggests pairing the new habit with an attractive action for motivation. The response step claims that reducing the difficulty of changing habits increases efficiency, for example, preparing environments. The fourth step, reward, aims to make the process satisfying and incentivise more life improvements. The cover is extremely recognisable, with the title in a big font, so for performance purposes, it bodes well.
Another book commonly seen in a performative man’s hand is Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami. This novel, written in 1987, delves into themes such as grief and mental health, focusing on protagonist Toru Watanabe, who loses his friend Kizuki to suicide. Toru reminisces on life in college and how he navigated relationships with others after Kizuki’s death. Emotional development due to grief is explored, such as how a simple, gentle friendship can change into a complex, guilt-filled one. The story takes place in 1960s Tokyo, which was subject to cultural shifts, for example, with a higher fusion of Western music. These societal changes play a role in displaying the setting of the novel and what Toru’s life is like. By reading this book, men appear to be learning more about emotion, increasing their EQ, and improving their ability to be in a mature relationship. In addition, the novel is a work in translation and could also show the man’s interest in cultural exploration and open-mindedness.
These are highly rated books, meaning most people should enjoy reading them and can take away important lessons from their themes. Men who genuinely find joy in reading and take an interest in these and other literary works shouldn’t be shamed. The difference between performative men and men who like to read is simple: the former holds a book and scans the room to find a date, the latter reads the book.
An issue with the “performative man” arises when they start talking. These books are special to women for a multitude of reasons; when a man who hasn’t really read the book starts mansplaining it to a diehard fan, they lose face. It’s possible that the whole trend would’ve gone unnoticed if it stayed a performance, but it gained negative traction because of its purpose, revealed in conversation… These men aren’t different from those with toxic masculinity, they are just in sheep’s clothing. That being said, the men who read these books wouldn’t come across as performative in conversation because they’d actually have real comments to share.
In any case, this phenomenon has resulted in men rapidly changing their appearances and habits, as if to test if the trend improves chances of finding a date. This raises questions about how people present themselves: If they are so quick in changing aesthetics, what is their genuine personality? In addition to that thought, what do people hope to achieve when they express a different persona in public than in privacy? Are we all performers, just on different stages?
The archetype of a performative man is a trend that not only makes it harder to find men who aren’t lying about their hobbies, but also uses respected literature as props, which cheapens the messages within the books themselves, potentially insulting the authors and readers who truly appreciate them.
If men keep altering their act just to attract women, rather than investing time and effort into real behavioural change, all their personas will be short-lived. It’s only a matter of time before the next archetype rises, women take interest in them, and realize it was a lie all over again. Perhaps the trend would have a more positive impact if the men stopped performing and actually read these books.
Image credit: Pinterest
