Making meaning out of the menial.
The transition from halls to a tenement block has the potential to be awkward and uncomfortable – no matter how much you bonded with your now-flatmates in the year prior to getting keys and signing off on a sketchy non-HMO deal. If you’re lucky enough to be friends with your flatmates, then cultivating community within your flat is of utmost importance. This doesn’t come easily to everyone, and as someone who hates making executive decisions that impact others’ lifestyles, I have learnt some tips and tricks on how to make your second-year flat feel like home – beyond putting up fairy lights and building a Tennants tower.
Have a standing order with your flatmates, something you all do consistently, every week or so, that is non-negotiable. Maybe it’s a local pub quiz, maybe it’s Sunday night dinner, or maybe it’s paintball in the St Enoch Centre. Whatever it is, make it compulsory. Implementing a standing order into your routine makes sure that you are all making time for each other, outside of just cooking dinner at similar times – which is rare as it is! It’s a guaranteed chance for you all to show you care for one another without it feeling forced.
Get outside! Taking yourselves out of your usual environment is a perfect reminder that there’s more to life than the four walls of your bedroom and the fifth floor of the library. Become Lewis and Clark for a day by hopping on the number 15 bus from University Avenue all the way to the hills of Milngavie. There’s something so comforting about going out and about with your flatmates in the colder months because you know that there are a million blankets and a million cups of tea waiting for you all when you get back home.
Finally, extend the invite. This applies in two ways: first, whatever mundane task you’re up to, make it so any flatmate feels comfortable joining in at any interval. This makes Lidl trips more fun, the library less productive, and your heart a whole lot fuller. Setting an open invite avoids any opportunity for people to feel left out, while also giving you all a good chance to practice setting boundaries for when certain situations – like a one-on-one debrief with a friend from home – don’t call for group participation. When it comes to curating a mature, cohesive flat dynamic, removing social boundaries is just as important as maintaining them. Extend the invite to other friends, too! If ever things are getting a tad tense at the flat, dilute the tension by including others in the pub trip or the dinner plans. If cleanliness is your issue, have people over. It forces all members of the flat to pull their weight and get involved in the physical labour of love that is scrubbing the grease-encased hob with Pink Stuff until all of your palms are raw. If your flat needs the more to be the merrier, then the more it shall be!
Being friends with who you live with can be the best, most fulfilling experience of your young life. In my experience, a key part of avoiding falling into a rut is to appreciate the meaning in the menial. There’s a shift in autonomy when you choose who to live with; after all, the decision to choose is the decision to care. Don’t take the care extended to you for granted, and never forget to reciprocate it, because, before you know it, you’ll be knocking that Tennants tower down and dividing the pots and pans back up, ready to head your separate ways.
