Writer
How a man who lives in a bunk bed, has no GCSEs and has never had a job has become one of Britain’s cult superstars
Jimothy Lacoste is an enigma. The young man, known formally as Timothy Gonzales, has begun selling out venues across the UK after releasing only a handful of songs. Lacoste is said to have never made any money before music, and still currently stays at home with his mother in a council flat in Camden, North London. His worldly possessions consist of an IKEA snake, Gucci Clothing and a pair of diamond encrusted Ray-Bans. He apparently eats three large oranges a day, and according to his song “DRUGS”, has never taken an illegal substance before, despite having the stage presence of someone who’s had a too many red-bulls and six lines of Columbia’s finest mandy. He has no label, no radio backing, and no official PR budget to promote his shows or songs.
His songs are as catchy as they are ridiculous, with songs like “FUTURE BAE” and “Fashion” being so self-aware that they might as well be the musical embodiment of irony. He also produced a video for his hit single, “Subway Station”, where he was pictured dancing and swinging from the top of the famed London trains – an act which was considered so dangerous that the London tube company had the video removed over 3 times due to Jimothy’s “reckless and irresponsible behaviour”. Thankfully, a group of devoted fans have continued to re-upload the video every time it’s been taken down.
He is said to have never visited Scotland, and yet his posters have been plastered over Great Western Road and Byres Road by an unknown band of devoted disciples. He has also had to change his name on Spotify to just Jimothy, due to a recent clothing promotion with Adidas who told him that he couldn’t work with them if he continued to (inadvertently) promote the competition. In short, I had to see what this man was about.
After being one of the lucky 300 to bag a ticket for his debut sold out Scottish show, I was about to discover if this man could put on a show that was good as his music. When I arrived I was greeted with a varied group of misfits ranging from the ages of 16 to 50, and a hand-drawn painting of a posed Jimothy perched to the left of the stage. As I stood with my friend, stale Corona in hand, I wondered if any man had attracted such a diverse crowd since the days of Jesus Christ. Before the show began a projector beamed the face of a young Jimothy on the back-wall while a pair of decks were placed on a golden table side-stage. Once again, Lacoste was continuing to confuse us about whether this was an elaborate joke, or something which was just beyond any rational understanding. When Jimothy finally bounded onstage dressed like a retired cricket player, the room exploded into a cacophony of cheers and applause. We were then greeted to an hour of filthy beats, and smooth dancing as the rapper rattled through a collection of bangers old and new. The crowd didn’t miss a lyric or beat, my resilient companion and I spotting a man whose jaw was swinging so much that it might have been better used to topple a skyscraper. When the show ended, the smell of sweat and red-stripe was so strong that it made the room feel like the aftermath of every HIVE till five I’ve ever been to.
Jimothy then instructed the audience to spread the acronym L2E far and wide. This symbol stands for Jimothy’s catchphrase “Life is Getting Quite Exciting”, a mantra first popularised in his debut track, “Getting Busy”. Jimothy’s request felt like the spreading of a cult ideology, but one the crowd were happy to oblige. Lacoste has prided himself on being a man of the people, asking fans if there was a house party that he could tag along to in order to engage in some pleasant conversation with the Glasgow youth. Jimothy still self-identifies as a virgin, so there was going to be no hanky panky in a Murano single bed tonight.
When I returned home that night to a broken radiator, and a chilled quiche Lorraine, I couldn’t help but feel that I’d witnessed something special that night. The second coming that no rabbi had dared anticipate perhaps? Or maybe just a silly kid from London who was playing the most profitable prank the world has ever seen? Whatever the case, Jimothy had made an impact on me, a lasting impression which I hoped the whole world would soon share. I cannot help but agree with what gospel Jimothy preaches. Life is indeed getting quite exciting.
