How February and the pressures of dating in university actually bring clarity and help you end your unfulfilling situationship (leave your bf)
The new year at university brings many changes to our lifestyle and mentality, whilst we longingly look forward to the summer. This gaze ahead in the wrapped-up cold winds of February brings a certain clarity to it, like who is holding you back? Who actually shows they care about you? Can you do better? This is a natural phase, one that should be met with openness as opposed to denial.
University in February sends the majority of us who have been slacking into a frenzy of prioritisation. Midterms, mild storms and male problems. Neither one helped the other. In the last four months, I’ve heard of around eight breakups, which feels feral. What’s in the air at the moment, and for the people still in a relationship, I can only say watch out. If it gets to ten, I might go as far as to call it a phenomenon or trend. February is a foothold for the future. Looming exam season, Easter break and the end of the university year and for some, university altogether. This pressure cooker season (unfortunately, not temperature-wise) becomes a real test of effort from your significant other/crush or situationship. People are planning, and if they’re not wanting to plan with you or be an active part in the plans, then the mind starts to make conclusions. Making the most of your social life in University shouldn’t stand between you and your situationship. Library study dates and lunches together on floor 3, gym hangouts to prepare the summer bod, cooked dinners in while the storm tests your single glazing and post-lecture pints with friends are all good examples. February clearly can be worked through if the right steps are taken. Although if you find yourself not having the urge to put effort into seeing someone as much as possible, then I think that’s all the clarity you need.
Dating in university is always tricky; there’s so much to keep on top of and experience. This can be overwhelming. However, even the busiest of us are able to allocate time regularly for someone. Sitting at home and waiting for the effort you’ve asked for isn’t February’s fault, or the university’s. Without meaning to sound cringe, and a funnel of deep, meaningful quotes, “if he wanted to, he would”. This can also mean you look inward at what you’re actually excited about and what’s happening in the months to come. If they don’t feature in those thoughts, hmmm.
Is it even cool to have a boyfriend anymore? No. Vogue earlier this year already clarified this for us. It’s even more uncool to stay in a situation that isn’t giving back what it’s taking. Chinese New Year has also just begun, and mentally resets people to their future goals. The snake was last year, and I think symbolises the shedding of people and situationships that need to occur to ride on into the year of the horse. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that giving someone the middle finger somewhat resembles male genitalia. This is all the metaphor you need to leave your unfulfilling situation and choose yourself in a season that will only be on the up. Give that boyfriend the middle finger and bye.
