Red Flags on Tinder

Ishani shares her do’s and don’ts of online dating.

There is debate regarding what is an appropriate way to date or casually meet someone. As a fresher, there were whispers through the halls about Tinder’s reputation: it carries the benefits of meeting new people, especially during a time when you want to connect with people desperately, but it’s also notorious for its creepy, awkward and unpleasant interactions. 

One boring night, my friends and I decided to sign ourselves up for some online dating action. The pressure of building the perfect profile can seem daunting: you must have some cute but candid pictures, and a good opening line is a necessity. We began swiping, and then came the realization: what do I do when I get a match? If you’re lucky, you may find someone you get along with, someone who has the same interests or has the same sense of humour. However, even the most perfect Tinder matches can often lead to horrific dates. After some surprisingly awkward dates, I wished that someone had told me about the red flags to look out for on dating sites. 

The first one is to trust your gut. If someone constantly has to apologise for what they say to you, or they’re making you uncomfortable with their conversation topics, trust your intuition and unmatch them. No person that is making you feel unsafe is worth your time, no matter how attractive they are.

Secondly, look out for late-night texts. If you are not explicitly looking for something casual, and someone texts you at a time that is consistently convenient for them, chances are they’re not the one for you. On the flip side of this, if you’re only looking for something casual and someone is texting you more often than you’d like or seems to be more invested than you, it’s a good idea to unmatch. If the person you’re talking to isn’t looking for the same type of relationship as you, continuing conversation is just a waste of time. 

Another easy way to waste your time is to continuously put in effort with people who are clearly not interested. If you’re on Tinder to meet new people, someone who cancels on you regularly might not be someone you want to form a relationship with. A one-off incident is excusable, but it would be a waste of time to invest in someone that doesn’t value your time and energy. Although it can be a hit to the ego, it’s important to recognize when someone is just not interested. 

Lastly, watch out for people who make too many sexual innuendos. If all of your conversations consist of sexual jokes and juvenile innuendos, you might want to question this person’s maturity, or their compatibility with your personality. If you don’t enjoy the conversation, this match probably is not for you.

Bottom line, I have had brilliant conversations with some people that turned out to be disastrous dates, and met some really boring texters that turned out to be really interesting people. The only way to know for certain if Tinder is for you is to give it a try, but remember to trust your gut, and be honest about your expectations.