There is nowhere that unleashes mass unhinged chaos quite like Bongos Bingo.
Bongo’s Bingo is no quiet night out. Almost immediately from the get-go, the entire hall falls under the spell of the evening’s presenter, a Belfast man, and his two glamorous, half-naked assistants, who keep the energy at a high from start to finish. The hours that follow pass in a flurry of cocopop showers, club tunes and cheesy hits, with some bingo thrown in between.
This was my third experience of Bongo’s Bingo. When The Glasgow Guardian was invited back to cover the House of Boo Halloween Party, I couldn’t get my bingo book and felt-tip pen out fast enough. It’s a night out that will never get old, and no matter who you go with or how many times you’ve been, you can count on a good time. My three trips to the SWG3 for the Bingo have without a doubt been amongst the best nights out I’ve had in Glasgow. This is coming from an uncompetitive person who hates games and organised fun – the bingo itself is the least notable thing about the night.
Being a few days before Halloween, this particular night at Bongo’s was titled House of Boo, presented in partnership with Southern Comfort, who gave everyone a free drink on arrival. The punters dancing on their benches all being kitted out in costume and Halloween anthems like Michael Jackson’s Thriller blasting round the hall, with a cardboard cutout of him as a prize to match, made the House of Boo edition of Bongo’s Bingo unique to the other nights.
My only grievance is that in my three trips, I am yet to have won anything to show for it. In fairness, this may be due to me being more interested in the range of drinks Southern Comfort were offering, as well as the signature Bongo’s Bingo drink – the venom, and my tendency to black out after a few of these, than I was the numbers being called out. There was something for everyone up for grabs at the Halloween event, from a Henry Hoover to a karaoke machine, bottle of fireball and the final prize of the night – £700 in cash. The star prize is reserved for the strongest of bingo-goers, who can still pick up their pen and make out the numbers on their book after two and a half hours of sipping on the SWG3’s £10 venoms. At the March event, last year’s Deputy Editor-in-Chief Rosie claimed this triumph, but unfortunately Fraser and I were not able to continue the paper’s legacy in this regard. At least I have never been one to run up to the stage and shout “bingo!”, only to be humiliated for the false alarm with the tune why you always lying? Stop fucking lyinggg being chanted round the hall as you walk back to your bench. There are always a few.
No night at Bongo’s Bingo will be a disappointment – it’s the perfect night out for any occasion. On entering the hall and climbing up to dance on the benches, where you’ll remain for most of the night and likely forget to play bingo, you can leave your problems at the door and escape to the alternative reality that it is. Playing up to their Glasgow crowd, the rendition of Loch Lomond was the perfect end to the night as groups headed off to attempt to continue the hilarity elsewhere. But there is nowhere that unleashes mass unhinged chaos quite like Bongo’s Bingo.
You can find upcoming dates for Bongo’s Bingo here.
